Project 2
Student id: l18
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Title: Title of Assignment
Author: Daniel Lieman
Date:
- Daniel Lieman
- 410-660-1969
- djlieman712@gmail.com
- 4674 Shelley Lane, Ellicott City MD 21043
Hello Mathworks,
I am interested in the C++ Software Engineer job posted on LinkedIn.[i.n.] I have enjoyed my work with C++ in the past and I think Mathworks provides valuable tools for numerous technical professions[i.n.]. I look forward to solving interesting problems in a high paced enviroment[i.n.].
I bring previous experience with C++ 11 from my work at RKF Engineering. I used C++ while contributing to their satellite communication simulations. There I became familiar with multithreading techniques. I also was one of the main testers in the company so I both have experience in debugging and reporting bugs.[i.n.] I have used MATLAB before in my classes, so I appreciate the work Mathworks does. Your Simulink software[i.n.] in particular has been helpful: one of my more memorable school projects used in in the controls for a robotic arm.
I think I will fit in well with Mathworks[i.n.], and [p.n.] I hope we can further discuss what I can do for Mathworks[i.n.]. [p.n.]
- Sincerely,
- Daniel Lieman
Peer review
This cover letter is for second or third year coop within the computer engineering/science fields. You are trying to appy for a specific C++ engineering position at Mathworks for the job.
I am critiquing the language, brevity, and flow/syntx of the paper. Overall, the letter is very brief and does not contain a lot of in depth information. Statements such as, "I think I will bring all the the necessary abilities to go above and beyond" and "I have used your software before in my class" are blanket statements that do not provide any insight into your abilities or why you are different from other applicants. Additionally, the flow in and between setences should be analyzed; while each one may contain the information you want, they do not all flow smoothly into one another
The aspects I identified earlier are major points of a cover letter that employers look for; they already have your resume and by viewing your cover letter, are looking for a concise statement about the type of person you are, your experience, and why you would be the best fit for the job compared to other applicants. By making your letter easily readible and stand out from the rest, you will increase your chances of success. Instead of saying "I think I will fit in well with the Mathworks," you must explain why you will fit in and give specific examples.
To improve your cover letter, I would suggest brainstorming a list of specific traits and experiences you posess. You have the correct order of information listed, but need to elaborate on each section. Try adding at least 3 new pieces of information to each of the sections. When you are done, read it out loud- this will help you determine how well the letter flows between sentences and sections. Additionally, your tone should display enthusiasm and bring more of a "this is what I can do for you/bring to the table" attitude than a "this is who I am" statement. Incorporating these changes should have large impact on the overall message of your cover letter.
Instructor Note
The first thing I notice is that your XML document is invalid in several aspects-- the most glaring of which are the invalid attribute value on the first intent element and the incorrect element for your final paragraph. This (as well as the general brevity) indicate to me a lack of attention in the revision process. I think you received a very productive peer review and you did do some revision, but on the whole I don't know that this is a very convincing instance of the genre. See my notes above for specific moments where I think you could be more specific and spend more time attending to the specific aspects of Mathworks and/or the job call.