Project 2
Student id: s23
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Title: Modeling and Producing Genre
Author: Monica Salas
Date:
- Monica Salas
- 48 Saint Stephen St., Apt 4
- Boston, MA 02115
- 508-335-8828
- monicasalas114@gmail.com
Dear Hiring Committee:
I am writing to apply for the MotorSports development engineer position at A123 Systems Inc. listed on Northeastern University’s job search website. I was excited to see a growing company invested in making progress into the future of clean energy in the automotive industry. I have experience[i.n.] with startups similar to A123 and find that I am most driven in such an environment.
Working at Amphenol PCD, I was introduced to the types of standards mandated by military and aerospace industries. The rigorous standards implemented on us by ITAR and military arms suppliers taught me the importance of well-organized and effective documentation. This job is also where I became accomplished using Pro-E/Creo and implementing quality control processes.
While working at Infinium, Inc., I worked on a small research team refining a process to create primary aluminum via electrolysis. I modelled in AutoCAD Inventor and helped to build infrastructure for the developing process. I also performed material compatibility tests and post experiment analysis using x-ray diffraction, scanning electron microscopy, and data analysis in MatLab.
Aside from my work experience, I am a recent student at Northeastern University. In my labs and classes, I have developed strong technical writing and communication skills, the ability to work effectively with teams of people, and resourceful problem solving skills.
I believe I work best in a fast paced, energetic environment and think I would be able to integrate well into a team like A123 Systems' MotorSports. I would welcome the opportunity to further discuss the position and my qualifications in the near future. Thank you very much for your consideration!
- Sincerely,
- Monica Salas
Peer review
The peer review report is in response to a cover letter written to express interest for a development engineering job at A123 Systems.
I believe this cover letter does a great job identifying why you are a great candidate for this role. Several examples and qualifications are offered which relate to specific points in the job description. However, one possible point of improvement would be stating how the job is a great fit for you. The sentences inside of the reason element state an interest in the general industry and general work environment of the company, so it might make sense to include information that might be more specific to this particular job.
Moving on, I believe the first background paragraph is well written and does a great job of highlighting experience that very closely matches the job description. I believe that your second background paragraph should be more like the first in that it should highlight the most relevant experiences rather than describe exactly what you worked on. For example, your last sentence in that paragraph lists a several methods of analysis (“x-ray diffraction, scanning electron microscopy, and data analysis in MatLab”) which may not be useful to the company based on the job description and experience and education listed in the posting. It might make sense to add to this paragraph or replace this sentence completely with one that describes one of your qualifications that relates to the job opening.
I believe you also do a great job connecting your skills school experience in your third background paragraph. However, placing myself as the hiring committee in this particular rhetorical situation, most of the information you provide in this paragraph seems to be pretty standard and generic, which would not make you stand out in the applicant pool, especially if they are from the same university. If possible, I would suggest adding more specifics that might separate your experience, or make it more technically relevant to the job description. Additionally, if you can add more information in your second background paragraph, you may be able to completely get rid of your third paragraph.
Finally, I think your closing paragraph is very good the way it is. I noticed this in my writing as well, but it might make sense to add an optional “thank you” element inside of this paragraph, since this seems to be common in many cover letters.
Instructor Note
Your XML document is not valid--8 errors, though it looks like all of those are because you failed to update the element name for the last paragraph to closing_statements, according to your team's revision. The other issue here is that your revised version came in a few hours after the due date (8/9 by class time). Aside from those two issues, this is an excellent example of a cover letter. It is specific, both about the company to which you are applying and your own experience, while remaining personal. Well done.